Dr. William J. Doherty, author of the best selling book Take Back your Marriage, warns that going to see a therapist that is not trained in marriage therapy, or has an individual focus in their therapy style can be one of the fastest ways to divorce.

Dr Doherty says:

You’d be interested to know that, according to a national survey, 80 percent of all private practice therapists in the United States say they do marital therapy. And only 12% of them are in a profession that requires even one course or any supervised experience. Only marriage and family therapy as a profession requires any course work or supervised clinical experience in marital or couples therapy. So most people who say they’re doing this work picked it up on the side or not at all. The other thing I want to add, and as we go through this presentation today it is very important to keep in mind, is that most people who get any help from a counselor or therapist for their marital problems are seeing an individual counselor or therapist. That’s where most people go. If they are depressed, anxious, or having trouble with your life, most people go to an individual psychotherapist. And that’s where a lot of the damage to marriage goes on. The other aspect of the damage occurs when couples see a therapist together for marital therapy.

There are ways to help you know if you are getting a good marriage therapist or not. These questions give by Dr. Doherty may help:

1. We need a consumer awareness movement about the risks of sharing marriage problems with a therapist or counselor. Caveat emptor.

2. Licensing boards and professional associations should have training requirements for therapists who claim to practice marital therapy.

3. People considering therapy should learn to ask questions to learn about the therapist’s training and value orientation. They can ask a therapist on the phone or in the first session the following kinds of questions:

• “Can you describe your background and training in marital therapy?” If the therapist is self-taught or workshop-trained, and can’t point to a significant education in this work, then consider going elsewhere.• “What is your attitude toward salvaging a trouble marriage versus helping couples break up?” If the therapist says he or she is “neutral,” or “I don’t try to save marriage, I try to help people” look elsewhere. (I’d also run if the therapist says he or she does not believe in divorce.)

• “What is your approach when one partner is seriously considering ending the marriage and the other wants to save it?” If the therapist responds by focusing only on helping each person clarify their personal feelings and decisions, consider looking elsewhere.

• “What percentage of your practice is marital therapy?” Avoid therapists who mostly do individual therapy.

• “Of the couples you treat, what percentage would you say work out enough of their problems to stay married with a reasonable amount of satisfaction with the relationship.” “What percentage break up while they are seeing you?” “What percentage do not improve?” “What do you think makes the differences in these results?” If someone says “100%” stay together, I would be concerned, and if they say that staying together is not a measure of success for them, I’d be concerned.